8 Lesson From My First Trip Abroad as a solo female traveler
The first time you decide to travel abroad alone is a big deal. Not only is there a lot to logistically coordinate, but on an emotional front, leaving the comfort of home for a completely unknown experience can be quite overwhelming.
This past autumn, I decided to spend an entire month in Italy and two weeks in France by myself. International solo travel had been on my agenda for a while, but I had gotten used to using the excuse of travel restrictions to push it off. This autumn, I finally decided that it was about time to stop talking about it and just go ahead and do it.
I went with little knowledge of Italian or French but trusted that with an open mind and a genuine attitude, everything would work out. Here are 8 things that I learned from my solo trip abroad.
1. It’s more exhausting than you think
You’re going to be tired. Mentally, physically, spiritually… you’re going to be tired…and that’s okay.
Travel is a lot. You’re exposed to new cultures, immersed in entirely unfamiliar (and potentially dangerous) settings, and physically are always on the go. Just getting by day-to-day without knowing the language means that you’re always subconsciously processing.
There’s rarely a sense of community or if you experience it, it’s through the warmth of individual one-off human interactions. Travel is beautiful and rewarding in a whole bunch of different ways, but it’s also okay to admit that it can be pretty draining.
Just because it’s tiring doesn’t mean that it’s not worth it. It just means that we have to be cognizant of our emotional state and take measures to prevent burnout.
2. You’re probably going to be lonely
If you’re traveling for an extended period of time, you’re probably going to be lonely. The language barrier makes it hard to find quality conversations. Additionally, as a solo female traveler, it’s always a balance between meeting people and safety. On one hand, you want to engage with local culture and local individuals, but doing so potentially exposes you to more risk.
Do your best to stay connected to your support network back home but also take the time to meet up with like-minded individuals. During my travels, I met up with three women in three separate cities. It made the experience that much more memorable. To get started, check out these 10 communities for solo female travelers.
3. Plan Your Itinerary Beforehand
Having a rough itinerary is going to save you a lot of stress. I know, I know, we all want a little spontaneity with our travels but just because you have a plan doesn’t mean that you have to stick to every single detail on it.
Decision fatigue is real and when you’re trying to coordinate travel logistics, balance work, and plan an itinerary, it can be pretty mentally stressful. The more you switch gears during your day, the more energy you use up. Do yourself a favor and plan out a rough itinerary beforehand so that you can just be present and enjoy when you’re actually traveling.
4. Beauty exists in so many different forms
The world is beautiful. Truly. In so many different ways.
Of course we all know that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and can intellectually understand that different societies have different beauty standards, but to be immersed in a different culture and to actually be able to experience it takes that understanding to a different level.
When you grow up in one society, you get so used to seeing the world through that lens. But when you travel abroad, you open up your mind to beauty in unexpected ways: A body form that is considered beautiful in the US might be different from that which is beautiful in Italy. Nature expresses itself with a different color palate. Food looks and tastes different. Seeing artwork that you've only seen in photographs in real life is beyond surreal.
Sure, some places and experiences are probably going to disappoint, but that’s also okay. It’s all part of the process in refining what you see as beautiful. If you show up with an open mind and are willing to just experience, some places really will take your breath away.
5. The world isn’t as scary as you might think
One thing that I was concerned about in anticipation for this trip was safety. Because of recent Asian hate crimes, I was worried that racism in Europe would be pretty bad. I also heard countless warnings about Naples but honestly, the world isn’t as scary as the media makes it out to be.
I definitely felt myself defaulting to some survival-based behaviors and adjusting my image and mannerisms to lean more into the harmless skinny Asian girl ideal, but I truly think it would’ve been safe even if I didn’t try to fit into that stereotype. As long as you’re aware of your surroundings and carry yourself like you should in any big city, you’ll be just fine.
6. You learn to trust yourself
Learn to trust yourself. You learn to trust the choices that you make. Both for safety and for your own enjoyment. You learn what you like and what you don’t like and how you prefer to spend your time. I also learned that I do a pretty good job of setting boundaries. I’ve always known that I was a pretty cautious person, but this trip affirmed my independence and ability to care for myself.
7. Don’t underestimate the power of a greeting
One of the most important lessons that I learned was the power of a simple “hello”, “good morning”, “thank you”, and “goodbye” greeting. Growing up in the states, I felt like greetings weren’t really a necessary part of existing in society. But after traveling abroad (especially in a country where I didn’t speak the language), I realized that greetings actually were an important and effective way to convey basic respect. It lets whoever you’re engaging with know that you come with good intent and also that you’re a foreigner but are doing your best.
8. Take your time
Going back to the first point, there are going to be times during your travels when you feel so exhausted and just want to stay inside and chill. That’s entirely okay. Sometimes when we travel, we feel like we have to see everything all at once. As if this will be the only opportunity to experience this part of the world and if you miss out this time, it’ll be gone…but remember, you can always visit again. Take your time to really soak in the sight and enjoy them rather than feeling pressured or rushed.
Much like Newton’s Law, an object in motion stays in motion…the first solo trip is always the hardest because you need that initial push to get started. Once you’ve experienced it for yourself, subsequent trips get much, much, easier. What are some of the biggest lessons that you’ve learned when traveling abroad?
